This blog, and the whole Studio Costura project turned five years old past Sunday, 14th of February. If you follow me on IG you might have read my little stories about “behind the scenes” of all these years. I also wanted to collect them together here as a special anniversary post + I’ve written also about my thoughts on all of that at the end of this post.
I have to be honest...it feels like forever because so much has happened/changed since I started my sewing blog and this whole project. I hope you enjoy this honest look on what it took me to get to where I am today.
The first year
So on 2016 I was already teaching sewing classes in a local shop and as I had two machines at home + my "atelier" as a separate room I thought I could also teach there. My daughter was just over one year old and I couldn't work a lot of hours but something part time was a good option. I also desperately needed to communicate with adults.
That's when the sewing blog was born as I thought it would be the best way to promote the classes. Little by little a couple of people came to my classes before that summer. But a more important thing happened that summer: I tried out sewing swimwear! I was hooked and started to sew lingerie. It was super hard to find supplies for that and I managed to get some cool stuff on my trip to Estonia visiting my parents. I came back with a suitcase of elastics and opened an Etsy shop...and people actually placed orders!
In autumn that year more people started to attend my classes and I met some truly amazing women! In the end of that first year I teached my first lingerie class at Trizas and Trazos (and drafted the Stella panties for it) and started to think about creating PDF sewing patterns for my own pattern line (the first muslins for the Hanna bralette were born!).
I also left the other place and teached all my classes at home, which was really nice! During that first year I wrote a lot on the blog and sewed a lot for myself too. What I didn't do was sleeping as my daughter still only slept like in 45 minute intervals. Looking back a lot of things happened during that first year.
The second year
The second year started with a lot of classes in my little atelier. Lia was now going to daycare and I was teaching classes from Mon-Sat. A lot of people came to learn how to sew there, so many great memories.
I managed to get more stuff for the shop and started to offer colorful lingerie making kits. In summer I was offered a teaching job at a local shop which was great as I had to leave the flat I was living in, the relationship I was in ended and I needed to find myself another place to live.
The orders for the shop came mostly from other countries and not from Spain so me and my mom decided we would move the stock and the shipping to Estonia, she would now pack all the orders and I did the online part. During that year I learned more about pattern drafting for lingerie and I started to learn how to make digital patterns following online courses.
In September I started to teach in the new place and learned a lot while I was working there. First bigger lingerie sewing classes took place (and I also met Laura there!). I settled into my new life trying to make ends meet to pay for all the living expenses. Combining raising a small child (Lia just turned three) and late class hours was complicated and I was exhausted. Knowing I desperately needed an extra income (my Etsy shop was working but the benefits were still minimal) made me work late hours to publish my first lingerie pattern. In the end of that year I took up knitting as it was the only "therapy" I could afford at that point, it was a lifesaver during those difficult moments.
I of course continued to write the blog and sew as much as I could, I knew that I wanted this project to work out, somehow. Although there were many days when I felt like hiding under a rock and waiting for the storm to be over I somehow managed to keep on going, keep on sewing and hoping for better times to come. I knew in my heart that sewing was my calling but I was broke, tired and in general really anxious about the future. Turns out the next year had some surprises for me...
The third year
That year started with something really important, in the end of February I published my first ever PDF sewing pattern, the Hanna bralette. I was so nervous, could I really pull it off, would people even like it? Well, turns out they did, I actually got sales on the first day (and fast forward today I can say it's still my best selling design)! I was over the moon happy, my hard work was valued! When I saw the first makes that popped up on IG I couldn't believe my eyes.
At the same time I was profoundly depressed with the other part of my job, not the classes but the rest I was doing there (sewing etc). I agreed with my employer to reduce hours and only keep the classes. Just when I was relieved to know I would start this new schedule they announced that "they didn't need my services anymore". Remember I told you I was making the ends meet? Well it just got worse! So I cried a bit, freaked out a bit more and then reorganized my living room as a sewing space. The next day I published the new class hours and emailed all my old students to see if anyone wanted to come back to class. Fortunately some of them did!
It was a punch in the face but at the same time I was now free to keep on moving on with this project. I just had to remember to breathe. I felt angry, anxious, ashamed, scared...I felt a lot of things! Thankfully I had my boyfriend Jorge on my side, I couldn't have made it without his support.
During that year I teached as many classes as possible, sewed custom lingerie and bags for extra cash, did some freelancing that I hated and continued to design patterns. I released the Stella panties and the Mia panties and later that year when I was a bit burned out with lingerie I published the Daily tote. The shop was working slowly, people were buying supplies and patterns little by little. Many times I thought about just giving up on this project and getting a normal job...I felt that I couldn't do it, I needed to pay rent and it just wasn't enough. Again, I loved what I was doing, I knew it needed time to grow into something profitable (because you can't just live out of passion, you actually need money)...but how long could I survive?
So you know the drill: I kept on sewing, working on patterns, taking care of my daughter and knitting as a therapy. At the end of that year Laura approached me with an idea to open up a sewing academy and as I had little to lose I said yes. A new chapter was about to begin.
The forth year
That year started with opening Historias Hiladas Madrid sewing academy. The space we rented was a mess but we cleaned it up and painted everything white, in 10 days first students came in.
That spring was promising, little by little me and Laura opened up more classes. At first I was worried if we were going to work well together, my last two experiences had left me thinking I was unable to have healthy work relationships and I didn't really know her before starting this adventure together. She turned out to be a really easy going person and although we are very different we work well together (she lets me try out all my crazy ideas, haha).
I started to teach bramaking workshops and patternmaking classes, in summer we had our first kids sewing camps. Apart from classes I also did all my pattern design work there, it was great to share the space with others who loved sewing as much as I did. I was working so many hours that my students made jokes about me actually sleeping in the academy.
Money was still tight, all I earned from classes basically went for taxes and public transport. Fortunately the shop started to work better and somehow I managed to survive. This year I published the Lili panties, the Mara bralette and the Vera panties.
By that point I knew that this was what I really wanted to do, teaching and patternmaking was the perfect combination for me and I could have flexible hours to take care of Lia. I knew that this custom curated work was the best solution for me and the variety of tasks kept me motivated.
The fifth year
The next year started with the academy's first birthday, we celebrated with a big party with our lovely students. The next week Madrid entered into strict lockdown and we were not allowed to go out for the next two months.
Lia who usually is half of the time with me and the other half with her father stayed with us for the whole time, I juggled between work and homeschooling, worried about what was going to happen. I set up a sewing space at home again and tried to find time to continue designing patterns. The academy was closed and we had no idea how or when we could start teaching there again, it was devastating.
During the next months I published the Eva panties, the Hanna bikini and I also made a project bag pattern together with Alex (it hasn't been published yet). The shop started to work very well and for the first time after so much effort the sales went up.
In June we masked up and opened the academy again, fortunately most of the students came back and we had a lot of kids at sewing camps.
Me and Lia stayed in Estonia for two months and in September I turned 32. For the first time in my life I was doing what I really loved and actually had enough income to pay for all of my expenses and save up a bit every month.
I started to work on a bra pattern that took up all my energy for the rest of the year and also continued to teach a lot of classes and weekend workshops.
Now I just needed to focus on finding more work/life balance...after all of these years of hard work and putting all my energy into this project I was finally ready to slow down a bit. That of course is a work in progress because my brain is so used to the survival mode, haha.
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So as you can see it has been quite a journey. I didn’t actually directly plan out writing these “stories” but once I started with the first year I felt that it was necessary for me to get it out of my system. So many of you commented on these posts with lovely messages, I’m forever grateful for that! Sharing this honest view was not easy as I felt quite anxious actually. I usually don’t write a lot about my personal life on IG nor here but I felt that it maybe might help somebody who’s struggling with their own creative project.
Also, talking about money in this context is not very common I’d say. I mean let’s be honest, everyone constantly thinks about their economical situation but you rarely see people writing about it in that way. For me it was a very important part of this story because those past years have been really rough. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware that I’m in a privileged position and even if I was doing really bad, I’d probably have support from my family and friends, I wouldn’t have ended up literally on the streets. But apart imagining this extreme situation, these times were really complicated.
Living in Madrid is expensive, paying rent alone is difficult when you don’t have a steady income. Of course if I would have had my family living here it would have been a no brainer to move back home until I could be back on my feet again. The thing was that I didn’t have this option and I also couldn’t go back to Estonia as I’m sharing the custody of my daughter, I can’t just pack my bags and run to what used to be my home.
And it’s also difficult to find a life/work balance with small children, in those early years they just demand so much which is totally normal of course. When you start any business it’s obvious you need to work a lot of hours for things to start to improve, everything takes a lot of time and energy. Having all these circumstances together was not easy for me but at the same time it made me make the decisions based on what was needed in every moment. It also made me push myself to get things done in a more efficient manner and I’m grateful for that.
There was a lot of fear and anxiety during those first years. I know that a lot of people preach the idea of “following your passion” and many people just want to figure out what their “passion” is and they think once they do have their idea, everything will just start working out. I was fortunate enough to know what I wanted to do, I was willing to work my ass off to keep on doing what I loved...but I also had to be realistic about my options. And I had to work so many hours to finally see the progress. During these past five years I never had vacations. I mean I did have days off of course when I didn’t have to work, but in my head I was always either working on something for the future projects or freaking out about the current projects not working out fast enough.
That’s what I’m talking about when I say that now I need to learn how to slow down a bit. Even when this project has been a true labor of love for me and I would have not chosen any other way, there’s so much more to life...and I’ve been in the hamster wheel of hustling my way forward for quite some time. I don’t want to be on an autopilot of survival for the rest of my life but I have to admit that it’s easier said than done, hehe.
But I don’t want to leave you with the sensation that it’s all so hard. I mean, it has been hard but it has also been beautiful and it has been sooo worth it. My aim with telling this story was to inspire people who might feel anxious like I did (and I still do of course, not every day but a lot of days!) and to show that you actually can build a (work) life of your dreams.
If I could give you only one piece of advice it would be: do what you can with what you have now. Believe me, I wished I had sooo many things I didn’t have (time, money, education, luck...you name it!). But what I learned was that you just have to start somewhere and learn as you go. You can make plans but you have to accept that you don’t have a lot of control about what’s going to happen. But you do have control over what you produce as work.
I learned all I know about running a creative business by actually running a creative business. I never graduated from university (I dropped out from three different ones!) and I also didn’t finish the formal pattern making training program (FP in Spanish) as it was too slow and I had to work to pay for my expenses so I just couldn’t keep up wasting my time in those old fashioned classes. I went to study pattern making in an academy where I learned a lot but I never “graduated” as my daughter was born and I couldn’t assist in classes anymore. Of course I have felt a lot like an imposter as I don’t have any “certificate” to show off. I mean, no one ever made me feel like an imposter, I felt it in my own head, especially in the beginning. The thing is that a “paper” won’t actually validate you, your work does. I’m sure it helps to have formal education but you will always be learning, you HAVE to keep on learning every day. There’s no university degree about “working as a creative”.
With that in mind...make good art. Learn from what others do, analize what it means to create great products/services, ask around, talk to people (or well, interact on social media). If you don’t have money for formal education go and Google search the things you need to know, there’s information about ANYTHING online. Have an idea? Just start...don’t wait for it to be perfect, but do make it as good as you can with the resources you have at that moment. You can only get better by practice and everything gets easier once you’ve practiced for a while, but you have to do the work. I went back and edited my first patterns once I knew how to make them better/clearer/more beautiful. And I will go back again once I can make them even better (I hope that this year I’ll be able to offer a bigger size range for my existing patterns). I constantly learn better ways to teach sewing classes, I learn together with my students and I’m not afraid to tell them when I don’t know how to do a certain thing. Because you can’t know everything, it’s impossible! But you can go and figure things out, we all can.
Thank you so much for reading this. I’m really happy that I’m in a position where I can write this and I hope I’ll be able to write many more recap posts in the future. I know it might sound cheesy but I’m really grateful for everything that this project has brought me. I’ve put my whole heart into this work, I just don’t know any other way. Thank you for your support, your kind words, your suggestions, your time. And I hope to see you around here :)
